You’ve got some great new ways to deal with conflict, applying what you’ve learned through the course of the book and your personal experience to areas of disagreement.
Here’s another powerful model using the “Parts Model” and the Reframing Model in combination. This process is called “Six Step Reframing.” Originally developed for internal conflicts, conflicts where you had more than two conflicting goals or parts, it is used with equal effectiveness in groups to negotiate conflicts.
It’s very similar to the way the Glen and Susan story was resolved, it’s a little more explicit, and specifically designed for situations where there are more than two parties at the table.
Here’s the video section from the Portable Practitioner with Jan Prince (and the process instructions follow):
Intro and Overview Six-Step Reframing s6-d5-c2
Demo: Six-Step Reframing s6-d5-c3
Review of Demo & Exercise Guidelines s6-d5-c4
Review of Six-Step Reframing Exercise s6-d5-c5
Pretty cool, huh? So pick some conflict in your life, an internal one to start is probably easier, use the six step reframing process, and note what happens.
Hi Tom,
I love this 6 step reframing. Can you please tell me, how do you handle if in step 6, the part says “no.” When I did this process, the answer for the conditional close question was yes and I /we came up with a few different scenarios to utilize which would help me feel safe, levelheaded and lighthearted. These included instead of fight/flight to simply hold space and watch, to find something else to do that made me happy or to do neither or either of these things and use an anchor to pull in the feelings I wanted. At the end though, when I asked if there was any part of me not okay with this, I heard both my father and grandfather in my head in unison “NO.”
I went through my own process to remove the limiting belief as it hasn’t helped me. But I’m curious what would the process be to handle this part when it says no after you’ve gone through the process? Is it just another reframe or what tends to be most efficient?
Thank you and best,
Samantha
Hi Samantha,
In learning one particular model I tend to stay with that model to address any issues that model can. The six step lends itself nicely to this as in doing another reframe or a parts integration is a direct way to address such. That tends to be the most thorough way of proceeding both for the specific outcome and the learning outcome, which is my definition of efficient.
Cheers,
Tom
PS: The six step was my favorite in my first NLP training.