You've been introduced to some very big topics in this chapter. Beliefs, the Meta-Model, and Self Concept by themselves can create profound changes in every area of your life.
You've covered a lot of ground in familiarizing yourself with the models and processes from NLP and a few others sources in this first Section, “It's All About You.”
Here are key points and some Bonus Activities for you to review before moving into the next section, “It's All About Relationship.” That's where you'll discover the fun in applying all you've learned so far, and more, with other people.
Chapter 4: Key Ideas
- Stress can create a cascade of negative reactions. Having stress management strategies for dealing with emergencies and preventing the buildup of stress enhances someone’s options for positive behaviors and outcomes.
- Each of us is a product of our experiences—and the thought patterns and conclusions we’ve created in response to those experiences.
- Beliefs are generalized thoughts that act as automated filters that determine what information we “let in.”
- Beliefs can be empowering or limiting in the way they shape our experience.
- The deep structure of what we mean is not always clearly communicated by what we say. Our linguistic shorthand often reflects an overgeneralization. These are called Meta Model violations and may “signal” us that we are acting from an old belief, and not current reality.
- Meta-programs are thought patterns, based on generalizations (an efficiency strategy that the brain uses) because we don’t have time to relearn everything. These patterns act as automatic filters that help us make decisions; they tell us what’s okay for someone and what’s not. They also filter out any evidence that’s contrary to the belief. Someone’s meta-programs are reflected in how they speak and behave.
- Although there are more than forty meta-programs, five key ones to focus on are:
- Predicates are sensory-based words that telegraph someone’s preferred representational channel—visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. For example, “That sounds good to me,” “I hear you loud and clear,” or “That rings true in my experience” are phrases usually indicating an auditory representation of experience.
- Your self-concept is a generalization about your behavior that is based on selecting examples of events that demonstrate your qualities, collecting them together into a database, and then using one example as a sort of summary—what cognitive linguists call a prototype.
- When counter-examples are integrated into your database of examples, as examples of learning, they strengthen the self-concept. Too many counter-examples, or counter-examples that are too large or prominent, can threaten or destroy the self-concept.
- When making changes to their self-concept, someone may discover more about how they “work” and need to negotiate
Chapter 4: Bonus Activities
- Set your inner antenna to notice your beliefs. When you hear yourself say one (even if it’s just to yourself), pull on that thread a little to determine where it came from and if the “adult you” really thinks that’s true. (Tip: look for “should, must, always, never, all, every, none, etc. because these are Meta Model clues about overgeneralization.)
- List the predicates you use so you can get a better sense of which representational channel (visual, auditory, kinesthetic) you prefer to communicate in.
- Explore your meta-programs by going to: online profile survey____________; identify which ones seem to fit you best.
- Notice whether your meta-programs are consistent across contexts – or different in professional and personal situations.
- Identify characteristics you’d like to strengthen or add to your self-concept. If you experience resistance, determine if there are counter-examples to address or “parts” of yourself that need to be communicated with and understood.
- Commit to meditating for 10 minutes every day for two weeks.
- Read The Relaxation Response.